BLUR…

iyosayi14 Reflections

“Everything’s so blurry And everyone’s so fake And everybody’s empty And everything is so messed up…” – Blurry (Puddle of Mudd) I know I said in my last post I had put a stop to drinking, oh well…I haven’t. It feels like a lifeline these days. After back-to-back daily work stress during the week and then school on Saturdays, it …

2021 so far… (The happenings)

iyosayi14 Reflections

Plans. /plan/ noun plural noun: plans an intention or decision about what one is going to do. verb 3rd person present: plans decide on and make arrangements for in advance I make plans for almost everything. If I don’t, it’s going to be chaos in my head, which will inevitably culminate in me breaking down. I’m the guy who draws …

2020 (Year in review)

iyosayi14 Reflections

I think we can all agree 2020 has been a weird year. I bet everyone’s year-end review will make reference to the covid-19 pandemic and how it shaped their year. 2020 has been a year of canceled plans and having to make peace with the new normal. A year of chaos, anxiety, calm and surrender. The year facemasks and face …

CROSSROADS

iyosayi14 Reflections

“We strip our lives bare of the colour that comes with variety till all that’s left is the black-and-white monotony of what we do for a living. Is this what we call a life though?” – Ore Fakorede Lately, I’ve been thinking about where my life is headed (Nah, it’s not because my 32nd birthday is less than a month …

ONE BREATH AT A TIME (Surviving anxiety)

iyosayi14 Reflections

“and to be honest, there are days where I get super low and I really don’t know why. Like the day could be going perfectly okay but there’s this emptiness that runs within me. I just feel to isolate myself from everyone and everything just to hide, to bury myself under my blankets and make my bed my grave. And …

PHILOPHOBIA?

iyosayi14 Reflections

I’m currently on ‘forced’ leave and thanks to the persisting Covid-19 pandemic, travel restrictions are still in place. I have had so much time on my hands binge watching Tv series, completed another novel and almost ran myself down with negative news about social injustice both at home and abroad. The news became a major trigger for anxiety attacks, along …

COVID-19 AND MY 2020 TRAVEL PLANS

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I think I’m having travel withdrawal symptoms. My entire being longs for a change of environment. Going through old travel pictures and clips doesn’t help anymore. Heck, it feels like torture lately, aggravating my wanderlust. The virtual travel thingy people are promoting these days is more or less a faux front that doesn’t cut it. The thrill of landing in …

AND TIME SLOWED…

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Stillness. I doubt I have craved anything more than my age-old desire for an extended period of quietness. To be able to count my breath as each second passes without feeling like I am racing against time. To have a prolonged period of rest without the pressure of meeting deadlines. To exist, just be, frozen in time; days on days …

2020 so far…

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Is it too early to do a review of the New Year? I stumbled on a powerful post by Oreoluwa Fakorede titled Talking to myself at 21 (everyone needs to read it). I remember Reward tweeting at me that January was not yet over and I had already read the post a hundred times. The post is my unofficial guide …

REARVIEW

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What’s the point of living if all you feel is an unending cycle of despair, struggling to keep your head above water and few flashes of happiness that don’t seem to last? I had written an entirely different end of year post in my head before today. It was going to be a post filled with retrospect of 2019. A …