ORIGINALLY WRITTEN – FEBRUARY 03, 2013
I just stumbled on this post I wrote back then in 2013. I wish I followed my heart as per taking my time in truly figuring out what exactly it is I wanted out of life…but the stage my decision has brought me to in life at the moment isn’t bad (thankfully) though I still feel like a lot is missing and I desire much more out of life. The good thing I guess is, I am gradually finding my way back…The focus has always been truly live life and feel true happiness ‘cus truly this life is too short to conform and stay unhappy, managing (we know how good Nigerians are at managing).
I hope this piece inspires someone out there to follow their heart and choose true happiness instead of living a life of conformity and then end up being miserable.
Life after service, hmm… What can I say? It’s so different from what I expected. I thought now I would be free to do whatever I pleased with my life or maybe I really am, that’s if I ignore all society demands from fresh ex-corpers (those that have passed out less than a year) and also ignore family expectations.
Seriously, I should extend my break because right now I don’t feel ready for the ‘real life’. It’s like everyone is mounting pressure on me (unknowingly tho) to get a job or apply for masters….jeez! I hate when people ask me ‘what’s next now?’
Must we all conform to standards set by the society or meet societal expectations? If you are not working immediately or already applied for a master’s degree does that make you a failure?
Nơw look what I have gotten my poor self into…yea I haven’t told most people yet, well for now I consider it a mistake sort of because I regret my decision at times, though I’m thankful for the opportunity also. I started working since last week of July last year and each morning I wake and I have to prepare for work, I feel sad in my spirit because I know I ought to be resting and figuring things out and finishing my uncompleted novels.
Who knows I just might tender in my resignation soonest because I AM NOT READY! (I wish I had the balls to do that). I wish I stood my ground and maintained my normal standard of non conformity! Seriously, must we all follow the trend that society has set? After service next thing is masters or a job, next marriage? That’s mostly for guys I think. Marriage comes first probably for girls, so it seems. Once someone deviates from this, the person is looked as a failure or social misfit. Absolute crap!
Maybe I had to make this ‘mistake’ to finally figure things out. At least now I finally know when I would like to start living the ‘real life’, when to start working and when I would like to do my masters. The thing is I have three likely life paths I’d love to take career wise. The job I am currently holding would lead me to one of them so all is well I guess, I just have to suck it up and complete the transition from a life of no responsibilities to the real life because as of now I am now a worker. Gosh, I feel like laughing my head off at this junction. This is actually reality now, where whatever becomes of me I hold responsibility for.
It kinda sucks to be an adult. I miss those undergraduate days when all I bothered about was having good grades and being a better person. Mostly I miss being a child when I had no care in the world, when all that mattered was food, games, tv and friends…
From another point of view, am I just being lazy or do I have home problem? God save me. Only time would tell…
One thing I have always known as evident in my life is my steps are always ordered by God and all things are working for my good…No worries…in God I trust.