I’m here again; broken and crippled yet again by love. I told myself I’d never walk this road again, that I’ll be strong and independent.
Like Daughtry sang: ‘you’d think I have learnt my lesson by now…but still i drive myself right through the pain, yea it turns out I haven’t learnt a thing’.
I sit here on the floor of my apartment listening to songs I had downloaded waiting for the day we’ll finally meet. That magical day I dreamt of. The day the skies would glow when finally our bodies shall meet, spraying the skies with sparkles of flame our hearts had already ignited the day we connected. Music was our connecting force. Each song shared spoke volumes of what we felt.
I’m here with my heart wrecked and ripped in pieces. ‘It’s over and done but the heartache lives on inside’ (destiny child- emotions). I’m trying to nurse my bruised knees to health. So much struggle and fighting to make it work but lo, I lay fallen. My knuckles are bruised from my lost fight.
Feels like time has stopped and I’m left to suffer this pain for eternity. All around me is hurt. I’m dealing with so much pain and seemingly unending sorrow. No one’s coming to save me.
I long for you, for your company, for that familiar voice to tell me it’s going to be okay. But all I hear is this loud silence. It’s so deafening it re echoes loudly down my lonely being.
You are everything I wanted yet you are everything I don’t need. I want to fight for your love, to hold on to you but I know I have to let you go. It’s the only way we can move on with our lives. How can something so innocent feel so deadly?
When the sun goes down and the night stars take over. All I think about is you. Memories of you fill my heart as the stars fill the skies. Memories that illuminate my heart, bringing a smile to my lips. My eyes light up but it doesn’t last a minute. A tear drops because I know all we have has flown away…never ever to be.
Leaving me was the best thing to do. Our time was up. Our love had run its course. We didn’t have to go on pretending.
‘There’s no use trying when the pieces don’t fit anymore’ (James Morrison – the pieces don’t fit anymore).
I touched love and I got burnt. Now I’m rising from the ashes, finding my way back to the start…