A wise man once said-‘When you make your happiness dependent on another human be ready for a life of misery’.
It’s really pathetic when people behave or believe they can’t be happy if they are not in a relationship, they keep jumping from one relationship to another because they are so afraid of being alone for even a week! Everyone needs time to him/herself. Your happiness should not be dependent on another human being, because we humans are host of imperfections and once in a while we tend to disappoint. You could be single and still be one of the happiest persons on earth.
At times the fear of being alone, would even make you stay in an abusive relationship, tolerating crap and all sorts of maltreatment. Being independent is the greatest feeling in terms of freedom, knowing you can stand on your own no matter how alone you feel.
Instead of jumping from one relationship to another, why not take a vacation from the relationship ish per say and actually work on yourself. Try and examine yourself and build your personality. Take interest in others and try to understand the human nature to avoid mistakes of the past.
Are you miserable in love? There’s a time for everything; a time to be single and a time to be in a relationship which might just be in a few years time. You may decide to be with a particular person for a while even when you know fully he or she is not exactly the type of the person you desire as a mate. This is actually a selfish thing to do and in addition, you just might be sending a wrong signal to your ideal mate who might think you are ‘happy in love’ and of course get over you and move on to another, because every decent person knows it isn’t proper to come between a couple just to satisfy your feeling. If someone took you partner, how would you feel?
Someone once said “when my personality is stable for a couple of years, then I can think of dating”. Who we are determines how our relationships will be. Not many people find anger outbursts attractive for example. Some might accept you and tolerate it but no one would live with that for a long time happily. At times we are the reason why our relationships fail. Our behavior might just be the reason our partner cheated though I am not making an excuse for cheating but when our home turns into a war field, it’s only natural that another shelter where a little peace can be found is sort.
It’s very important we examine ourselves before getting into something serious. Then again, there are those who go into relationships just for the fun or because everyone around is paring up and they don’t want to be the one left out. Well relationships are not supposed to be ‘for fun’. It takes maturity and patience even hard work to build a relationship, flings are fun. When the grove dies, that’s the end of the fling, but when it comes to relationships, it takes commitment and dedication to revive it when the flames are going out. If it isn’t going to be serious it’s only fair to let the other to know what he or she is getting into.
It isn’t a curse to be single. Don’t let peer pressure or society force you into something you are not ready for because they won’t be there to feel your pains and heart breaks later. Are you scared of loneliness? That’s why we have family and friends. Learn to have genuine interest in others. It’s okay to think of your happiness and comfort, after all that comes first but then it’s also okay to have the welfare of others at heart.
It’s a very wrong idea when a girl believes in a relationship it’s the guy that should do all the giving. It ought to be a mutual thing. Love is give and take and also there’s no competition in true love. In as much as most of the financial responsibility falls on the shoulders of the man, there really isn’t any harm in doing little stuff for him once in a while. It will in fact go a long way in showing you truly love and appreciate him.
Relationships are private matters between the two persons involved. I don’t support the idea of discussing your relationship with a third person. Relationships don’t have a given pattern or laid down rules for everyone to follow. Each relationship is unique and has its own arrangement. Discussing your problems with a third party might spell doom because no other person can understand what you share with you partner or know what you have. Most girls are guilty of this. So many advice and ideas are put into her head by friends including those that mean well for her and those that don’t. The relationship becomes so tiresome because it turns out he is now dating not only her, but her and her friends. Best thing is to sort out any problem you are having between you too and follow your heart which with your head leading the way.
Then there is the secret dating issue. In as much as we all cherish our privacy must we really keep our relationship secret? There is a big difference between secret dating and keeping your relationship private. While it’s very good to keep relationships private, secret dating could be very catastrophic. The temptation of cheating is so much higher when dating secretly. You guys don’t tell anyone you are dating, you keep telling people ‘we are just friends’, then your friend who has no idea of what’s really going on between you too starts hitting on her and then she falls into temptation and starts cheating also keeping the second relationship a secret.
Why do you find it hard to tell people this is who you are dating? Are you ashamed of the person or deep down the relationship feels wrong? Why then are you in such a relationship? Truth is such never lasts. Why date someone you know you can’t marry? After all the end point of ideal relationships is marriage. Why waste so much time and resources building something you know would not last? In all our doings we need to apply wisdom.
When you find yourself in a relationship you can’t openly admit or worse tell your close friend about, know there’s definitely something wrong and the future of that relationship is very bleak. Never expect so much from anybody and never go into a relationship believing you would change the other, you just might get frustrated or you might even end up the changed one.
Well, what do I know? I am but just a kid…..