They say in every relationship, one person always loves more…
Kinda sucks when you realize you are that person, right? You feel dumb when you realize the other isn’t really as into the whole ish as you are.
We all know most times the beginning of relationships are always sweet. The constant thinking of each other, frequent communication and meetings. Everything is so beautiful you lose track and one day you realize the intensity has slowed and you’ve moved from that initial intense feeling to just loving or if you are unlucky, numb feeling (that’s when you know you guys have run your course).
Anyway, when we all start up with that intense communication ish and all, we know deep down in our subconscious it’s not going to be so forever, soon reality would set in and your individual lives and timing would begin to slow things down. But we ignore that thought and just enjoy the feeling.
It’s kinda rough when it seems the intensity wouldn’t last say two weeks unlike previous ones you’ve had. Worse if this is the one you really are into.
Say, first time you’d be spending a weekend apart. Maybe your boo travels, you communicate via chats but nothing compares to being with him/her physically. You can’t wait for him/her to get back. They finally come and then they say they won’t be able to see you that day even when they returned early.
That moment, you see the cracks. Has it already begun? Is this the beginning of the end? Did you miss a sign or something? Well, you can’t express your disappointment, we all know insecurity isn’t attractive. So you just reply with ‘ok’ and then begin to review things. Seeds of doubts have been sown.
Have you moved too fast? Let yourself fall freely without caution? How come you are the only one eager to see after the time apart? All signs point to the fact that you are the one who cares more and from your experience that’s a sorry position to be in.
You know it’s time to take a step back, withdraw a bit and don’t wear your heart on your sleeves. You have to protect yourself, your pride…your heart. You are going to psyche yourself into not being clingy or desiring their company so much. The love is there alright, but you ain’t allowed to feel all that especially now you know the other hasn’t gotten to desire you at same level of affection.
Yea, they said they missed you too over the weekend, but common let’s be real, actions speak louder than words. You rememebr all the times you were deeply attracted to someone and how you did mumu things just to be with them when they wanted to see you. You walked miles, spent your last cash, sneaked out of the house, stayed out late and all the sorts, all that mattered was your heart was happy. Now you wonder why this person wouldn’t do same for you when you yourself, you are ready to make similar sacrifices to be with them after the days apart.
Apparently someone has got their mumu button, sadly it’s not you!
Time to make yourself wanted, time for them to prove they really want you. To chase after you and show they are into this for real. You’d just lay low and well, if they never contact you again, you’d think of them fondly as assholes. Okay, I stole that line from sex and the city. Hehehe…
Anyway, while you lay low and try not to seem all too interested anymore just to see if they truly want you, you might just be slowly getting over all your feelings for them. The trick is, when we give little space or chances like this, things start going south without our knowing. When you lose focus on the person, that when your eyes get open to see others you didn’t really notice and maybe you just might send wrong signals to the other person and they too would think you are no longer interested for real.
Thats how you’ll succeeded in successfully ruining what you had unconsciously, but then your pride’s been saved I guess, no?
Me I don’t know anymore, this thing called love is rather too complicated for my liking.
“Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes
But its the only thing that I know
When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes
It is the only thing that makes us feel alive”
– Photograph by Ed Sheeran
Well, what do I know? …I am but just a kid