Out of sight they say is out of mind. This can be understood from two different views but I go with the understanding that says when you are apart from someone you gradually forget them.
Sometimes you wonder how it is that you feel so strongly about one particular person and you just can’t seem to shake off the feeling.
It’s very easy to tell your self ‘I don’t want who doesn’t want me’. But your heart just has a way of making a mockery of you.
Moving on is a choice but truly the heart has a mind of it’s own. You know you shouldn’t feel a particular way, that you should move on and let go. But still there’s something drawing you back to that one person.
So many others are there longing for your attention and love, but no, there just has to be that one person who doesn’t even give a damn about you that your heart chooses to love.
You feel foolish. This isn’t you. Normally you are the one they cry over, the one that they chase. Not the one who chases after.
Feels like you should just turn off that switch and let all you feel die. You look at the one your heart beats for, the one who says they just want to be friends and you wonder do they really feel nothing?
Are they just playing hard to get? Is it all just a game to them?
You feel special, yes, you know your worth and the long list of those you can easily have but why is it that this particular person isn’t under your charm?
Feels like a puzzle, a challenge…only makes you want them more. After all nothing of great value comes easy. Only you just might be under a curse of falling for those you can’t have.
Love hurts. Worse, love becomes a curse when the very one you love treats you the very way you treated all those who loved you but your heart just didn’t beat same way as theirs.
Love’s a curse when you are one of the unlucky ones who takes months to move on. Such a big curse when you can’t be just friends with certain persons. No in the middle; you are either lovers or strangers. No such thing as let’s be friends.
It hurts letting down your pride to chase after them, but at times you just have to stop and walk away. Let it hurt, let it burn…in time you’ll finally move on and get better.
But first you have to bear the pain of the curse of love, when you tell the one who holds your heart that they have to stay away and give you time to move on.
Silently you wish they’ll say no, and say they can’t be away but then the words ‘message received, I’ll stay away’ crushes you. Not because it’s not the reply you hoped for but because its all so familiar. The very same reply you gave to all those who loved you but you just didn’t feel same about them.
That moment tables are turned and you are in their shoes. That very moment you know exactly how unimportant you are to the one your heart beats for because you know how saying those words to others was easy for you because their professed love meant absolutely nothing to you. That realization kills you even faster.
You know how easy it was for you to give them space and let them go because they meant absolutely nothing to you. Infact, you felt relief when they asked for space. They were hurting but you were happy.
You know it all too well, hearing those words being said to you…the pain, it’s unexpressable…
Today I came across a very beautiful facebbok status update by Stanley Azuakola which says – ‘what if there was a drug one could take to fall out of love, will you approve of it’s use?
If the pill could make you fall out of love with an abusive husband (or wife), or adulterous love, or suicidal love, or incestuous love, or paedophilia, or gay love (or straight love). Will you approve of it? Will you use it?’
Is that a yes? Did I just hear you say pass me an over dose of the pill?
Like I once wrote, I think the ability to move on is one of the greatest gift given to us humans. Imagine what it would be like, if we were only able to fall in love with just only one person in our life time…
Well, what do I know? I am but just a kid…