It sucks when love is the reason a friendship comes to an end…
There’s this school of thought which says a boy and a girl should never be best friends except if they are married or one of them is gay.
If other wise, chances are one of them would develop feelings for the other and we all know what happens in such situations. You either keep your feelings to yourself or you express them and God help that friendship if the other doesn’t feel same. Most times that’s always the beginning of the end of the friendship.
Then again, there are some persons who make the best of friends being platonic but are miserable when they bring in romantic love. I know of two persons who are very great friends now, you wouldn’t even know they have a history of two failed attempts at a relationship or there’s been a period of hate because love almost ruined their awesome friendship.
It’s a risky thing when your best friend is your girl/boy friend. What happens if you guys break up? Not only do you lose your love, you also lose your best friend. Imagine the hurt and loneliness? This is usually the lot most clingers find themselves. When they are in a relationship they cling and build their lives around their partner, alienating their old friends and shutting everyone out…then when that relationship ends, they come back or suddenly want to hang out, chat or talk on the phone again, acting like they never left. If your friends love you deeply, they may forgive you but if not, they may give you the ‘talk to the hand” wave. I read this somewhere – ‘you know that tingly feeling you get when you have the hots for someone? Yea, that’s common sense leaving your body.’
“No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends.” – Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City
Hiding your feelings and preserving the friendship? For how long really? That’s serious case of dying in silence or hoping someday he or she will see through you and know exactly how you feel. Chances are you are going to keep waiting till the day they break the good news to you, with their eyes sparkling and a sheepish grin across their lips. They inform you they are in love and….wait for it…in love but not with you! That’s the day reality would hit you and you’ll finally awake from dream land.
Or can you be friends and hope the feelings would go away? Never! Truth is you are just going to fall deeper in love with each moment you share. Time spent together would just keep you falling more and more in love. Feelings are not mere switches you can just turn on and off. We are humans not robots. We need time to process and get over whatever we feel and the only way time can help in this situation is being apart from your love interest. You can’t keep deceiving yourself that all of a sudden you have killed the feelings and switched over automatically to a pure friend zone with no romantic feelings attached. You are just going to burn till you either act out someday or crash, which I promise would definitely end that friendship for maybe forever…
All forms of relationship, be it friendship, love inclined, parent and child, employee and employer, just whatever form needs good communication and understanding to work fine. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, I feel it’s best you call your friend and express your feelings in a mature way and maybe you can start by reassuring them the friendship means a lot to you and that’s why you want to come clean to avoid unnecessary complications later. If you are lucky, he or she may feel same way or even if she feels same way and you guys think things over and know a relationship isn’t the best thing for you guys due to certain other reasons as we all know, love is never enough. Still if they don’t feel same way, you both can come to an agreement that some time apart would be needed, to enable you get over what you feel.
This difficult conversation would save you both a lot of future drama and truth is you would feel a lot better after letting known your feelings because dying in silence is never fun. It’s like dying in a burning room endlessly, you wish to die, you crave for your final moment but it never comes.
At times love is beautiful, sometimes it leaves ugly scars
Well, what do I know? I am but just a kid…