It was Sunday school morning. The topic was preparing for marriage. Our youth teacher threw a question to the class – “if the day before your wedding you realize you and your partner are no longer compatible, what would you do?”
My answer was short and simple. “I’ll call off the wedding.”
She nodded in agreement. “In such a situation, let’s say out of ten couples, how many of them do you think would choose to do that?”
“One or two,” I replied.
‘Or none at all” she added.
Truth is, that’s the right thing to do. Yes, I know, easier said than done. I guess it all boils down to the same attitude of thinking short term and thinking only of the immediate consequences most people have when planning and making life choices. I personally don’t make important decisions without thinking critically about its long term effect.
There are so many reasons why one may have to call of his or her wedding. We’ve heard stories, and would still hear more stories about weddings being called off or tales about people being stood up at the altar. It could be as a result of a recent discovery about your intending spouse just few days to the wedding. You find yourself torn between a hard place and a rock.
You think of the shame you’ll have to bear if you call off the wedding, the invitations already sent out, the money, time and resources spent planning and preparing for the wedding. In my opinion, I don’t think all these are anything to be compared with what you’ll have to live with for the rest of your life. To me marriage is one big risk especially for those of us who don’t believe in divorce.
Are you ready to endure pain and sadness for the rest of your life instead of bearing few months of shame, hurt, embarrassment and a broken heart? Time would heal you and you’ll recover the resources wasted. But if you go through with the wedding, you might never recover. In fact if a miracle doesn’t happen to change the situation, you just might remain bitter and frustrated throughout that marriage which might eventually crash.
The chances of extra marital affairs become even higher.
Having to live in the same house each day with someone you are bitter at really isn’t a life I wish for anyone.
It could be that you discovered your partner has a child already but kept it from you only to come clean days to the wedding or you found out somehow, or he/she is impotent, has a terminal disease, was once married, has hidden traits you never really noticed or it could be anything very serious enough to place doubts in your heart. Depending on different persons, these and other situations could easily be over looked and forgiven while for others it’s enough to cast serious doubt.
Naturally, I being very critical of people and a bit paranoid would believe I have been trapped into the wedding. If it’s something I know I can’t live with or tolerate, that wedding is off. Yes, I would forgive but I wouldn’t make the mistake of putting myself in bondage when I have a good chance of escaping it before I say I do. I love my home peaceful and easy.
Well, what do I know? I am but just a kid… (Hoping never to find myself in such situation)